Tuesday, July 31, 2007

News from Ober-Bindlestiff

Gleamings from the Ober-Bindlestiff Chronicle:

The Office of the Official Mistress is pleased to announce that her eldest non-succession son has graduated from Ober-Bindlestiff Trade School. He majored in Three Card Monte. The Office is looking forward to him having a long and fruitful career (away from Ober-Bindlestiff). When pressed, the Office admitted that while his marks in the double-shuffle were not high, he did exceptionally well in the crossover pass. Due to his size and build he also scored well in Glowering and Dealer Protection.

The Chef of the Begneit Regiment was traded to the Chef de Fer Regiment for a Sous Chef to be named later. This is seen as having a far-reaching impact on the readiness of the Chef de Fer Regiment as the Begneit Regiment is notorious for being alert in the morning. Sugar requisitions are not expected to markedly increase in the Chef de Fer Regiment.

The Electoress, warmed by the esteem shown for her well-being by various foreign powers, has vowed to respond in kind. While it was too late to invite the respective Ambassadors to a soiree at her hunting lodge, she has agreed to give private interviews to each Ambassador in the near future. As is well-known, these private interviews are public events, being considered private only because servants are not allowed within 20 feet of the Electoress' table. Volunteers are being sought for "really, really double-secret private interviews" to be held on the Electoress' private barge. On a private note, nothing untoward (for Ober Bindlestiff) occurs at those interviews, though many of the participants are known to take a rest cure afterwards for exhaustion.

The Elector, with a change in the seasons right around the corner, will be interviewing graduates of the University of Ripplestadt for a position in his household. All positions are welcome.

The Convent of Our Lady of the Night Saint Jezebel thanks all of the donors to their recent campaign to install street lamps in all of the cities of Ober-Bindlestiff. This was headed up by Sister Lily Marlene, and the Composer's Union in Ober-Bindlestiff is commisioning a song in her name as a means of thanking her.

With the harvest coming in soon, preparations for the Thank You Tour of the provinces are well underway. This is the annual tour where the male members of the nobility thank the hardworking milkmaids for their efforts, while the female members of the nobility thank the hardworking farm lads (big, husky farmlads) for their work. This Tour is looked forward to each year.

When elements of the Navy returned with reports of new and impressive islands in the South Seas that were now available for investment, a more serious matter arose at the same time. It seems that the crew of the ship returned with a number of grass skirts, leading the fashion industry to wonder: a) how could petticoats be worn beneath them; b) when sold in stores, were these to go in apparel, or food?

Relations with Saxe-Schweinrot have cooled in the last few months--when have they ever been warm--leading to some suspicions that there might be trouble in the future. As is well known, both countries scrupulously refuse to fight across their common border as this would potentially depress the land prices in the area. However this does not prevent the respective forces from being shipped to other locales to settle their disputes. Even as this is written, agents are fanning out to find such locations.


Bluebear Jeff said...

A lot of quite interesting little news items. Some lead my mind to make logic jumps which perhaps it shouldn't . . . after all, I am a married man.

-- Jeff

abdul666 said...

Not to bragg, but I'm sure some Monte-Cristan ladies took part to some of the really, really double-secret private interviews. It's part of your diplomatic spider web...

abdul666 said...

May be the 'popular colored etching' I posted on the Monte-Cristan blog under 'The SPIDER' actually shows part of a "really, really double-secret private interview"?