Monday, July 9, 2007

News from Ober-Bindlestiff

Somebody recently asked me that if this was a blog about an Adult version of Saxony in the early 18th Century, where was all the sex?

All right, I'll oblige.

SEX-SEX-SEX-SEX-SEX-SEX-SEX

There, that's out of the way.

On a more general note, the Erbprinz of of Ober-Bindlestiff was recently sent off to Countess Furioso's School for Educating Nobility. Here he will learn all of the proper things a nobleman needs to master in this modern age: card playing, dice playing, horse racing, seduction of chambermaids, seduction of milkmaids, seduction of young ladies casually met on the side of the road while out hunting (and the proper method to install them temporarily as a mistress), and dealing with lackeys.

The Elector holds out great hopes for the Erbprinz's educational progress. His Excellency hopes that this will stop the Erbprinz from lifting young lady's petticoats to find out what lies beneath because he will know. The Elector has long felt that there are more productive reasons to lift a young lady's petticoats than merely to indulge in idle curiosity.

Other news about the Electoral Family - the Erbprinz's sister Genevieve has recently returned from her succesful tour of Yon Province. One note that caused some concern: during her routine trip her entourage was set upon by ruffians seeking to rob everyone. Genevieve took charge of the situation, and through a very forward use of her womanly charms not only turned aside the attack, but recruited several of the better equipped ruffians into her own personal guard.

Ladies in Thither Province recently held a fundraiser for the troops quartered in that province. While details are lacking, the correspondent has learned that it did involve paintings created just for this occasion. There is one rumor that the material painted was canvas, but there are a large number of rumors that a more personal material than canvas was used. A large amount of money was thus raised. It is comforting to know that if the troops ever do leave the province, they will be supported.

A messenger recently arrived from the Ministry of the Navy bearing news that one of the ships was recently seen making its way back from the Southern Ocean. Many rumors about concerning their discoveries. The entire fashion industry in the Electorate is waiting breathlessly to learn the customs and clothes of that ocean. It is confidently expected that these discoveries will be featured in next year's fashions.

The Colonel of Regiment Chef de Fer has announced a series of cooking competitions. Details will follow.

The sisters of the Convent of Our Lady of the Night has undertaken a subscription to raise money to increase the number of streetlamps in each city as the ones in use are getting too crowded. People are urged to contribute to this worthy cause.

Students at the University of Ripplestadt have reportedly developed a new method of torturing those people who visit their city. Songs that were composed and ably sung by trained and experienced musicians will now be performed by untrained and inexperienced people with little or no musical training. The Ministry of Justice is investigating this as a method to get stubborn prisoners to confess. Credit for this innovation is being given to Don Juan Kar y Oakee, a Spanish gentleman who is in Ripplestadt, he says, to take the air. Members of the Ministry of Justice worry that this "torment" may be too barbaric for modern and refined tastes. Studies are proceeding.

Look for more news later.

3 comments:

Bluebear Jeff said...

Hmmmm, is it possible for us to attend Countess Furioso's School? It sounds very . . . educational.

Some very nice "tidbits" . . . just the sort of things that perhaps a Stagonian . . . I mean, a spy might learn.

More please.


-- Jeff

Bluebear Jeff said...

Again, you might want to consider joining the group blog, "Emperor vs Elector":

http://emperor-elector.blogspot.com/

If you're interested, email me at bluebear@uniserve.com


-- Jeff of Saxe-Bearstein

Stokes Schwartz said...

I like the history (or "herstory" in Genevieve's case) you are constructing for Ober-Bindlestiff. Very imaginative.

Best Regards,

Stokes Schwartz